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Crime Watch – Arsenal Edition

crime watch

Now to the horrific attack on a taxi driver in the centre of Copenhagen in early September. The middle aged driver had picked up his last ride of the night, who he described as blonde, 6 ft tall, sort of athletic looking and that he referred to himself as ‘Lord’.
When he had stopped and requested payment, the passenger became violent and refused to pay. A scuffle ensued and the victim was left on the bonnet his car, battered and bruised and with no fare.

From the description given, police believe they are looking for this man.

The public are advised not to approach him as he has a tendency to drop his pants at any time and suffers delusional self belief.
bendtner no pants

If you see this man please constant Crime Watch on 555 1234

Our second investigation tonight is a ‘Cold case’ from 1995.

Police are looking for this man:

tony adams

Who was last seen walking away from this accident

crash

Witnesses at the time said he was off his tits, mumbling about having to get to North London and how the gaffer wasn’t gonna be happy.
If you have any information on this man whereabouts please call New Scotland Yard on 1234 555.

OuR final case tonight is from the fraud division, who are looking for a Scottish, middle aged man, seen here receiving wads of cash, at a motorway service area.

CASH

It is believed that the perpetrator received over £400,000 pounds over a 24 month period from a Scandinavian syndicate, smuggling unknown footballers from Denmark to the UK.

He is described as a man with few morals, who would work for anyone, as long as the money was there.

Again, if you have any information, please call New Scotland Yard on 1234 555.

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