“Arsene, over the past 14 years you’ve have had many battles with Jose. Have you anything to say about him before going into, potentially, your last confrontation?”
“Some people wrong because they are not strong enough to fight temptation and some are wrong because that do not know”
The Current Bun:
“Arsene, in the past Jose has called you a voyeur. Do you have any final comments on this accusation?”
“It’s been difficult to see through the binoculars recently, as his bus has been blocking my view of his apartment”
“Arsene, there are rumours that you have resigned to start training for a Celebrity boxing match against Jose. Can you confirm or deny this?”
“That would be too easy, Jose fights like a drunk, all slapping and pushing.
If I was to fight anyone, can it be Pulis, so I can wipe that inane grin off his face and knock that stupid hat off his head”
“During you tenure you have played against many managers. Your points average against all managers (excluding Fergie) is around 2 points per game. However, when it comes to Maureen, you only average 0.7 points per game. Can you explain this glaring discrepancy?”
“When the seagulls follow the trawler, it is because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea.”
The Daily Fail:
“Jose says he has a bottle of French wine, for the two of you to share after the game. Will you be taking him up on his offer?”
“Apparently, we have a room booked around the corner. We will see how the evening goes”
Thank you guys, Arsene will not be taking any more questions!