World Cup holders Uruguay to face Chile tonight – as UFWC continues…

With the interlull taking too long as ever, I thought I’d introduce you to one of my favourite football books (& websites) for you to peruse, whilst waiting to hear how may players we’ve lost to bloody international injuries.


This may sound like the latest bastardisation of cage fighting, but it’s actually the ‘Unofficial Football World Championship’ and it is the shining light proving that FIFA is in fact a corrupt (like we didn’t know that already) shell organisation, set up by the illuminati to hide the truth.


Ok, a bit over the top, but the UFWC is the worlds longest running football tournament and the only true measure of the greatest national team in the world.

Forget the four yearly cycle of (now) 32 teams playing a maximum of 7 games to prove they are the best of the best of the best. The UFWC has been running since 1872 and the tournament has just completed its 923 match.

Forget your group stages, quarter finals, semi finals and final.
Forget your “This period of the match is brought to you by McDonalds and BUPA, ‘Providing obese kids the medical support they need'”
Forget your winter World Cups and brown envelope voting processes.
The UFWC, is simple, you play the current holders and if you beat them, you are ‘Danny Champion of the World’ and so on.

The current REAL World Champions are, URUGUAY and on 10th of October 2016, They defended their current title, for the 3rd time, beating Ecuador 2-1 in Montevideo.

Uruguay? Really? How? Why?
Well the Real World Champions can be tracked back to the first ever international match:
30th November 1872, Scotland vs England at West of Scotland Cricket Ground, Glasgow.
Scoreline, a very anticlimactic nil nil draw, given the importance of the fixture.

To rectify this, a rematch was arranged and on 8th March 1873, England beat Scotland 4-2 at the Kennington Oval Cricket Ground, London, to be (un)officially crowned World Champions and so the rivalry began.

Over the next 5 years England and Scotland battled out for the right to be number 1, solely because, well, back then, no one else really played football. We invented the game after all, so you can all…… Sorry, came over all Daily Mail for a moment. The Welsh, joined the party in 1877 and the Irish joined in 1884, but neither could wrestle the cup away from the 2 power houses of England or Scotland.
In fact it wasn’t until game 113 on 14th February 1914, that an outsider won the cup. With all the English boys (probably) fighting on the frontline in WW1, the sneaky Irish invaded Middlesbrough, broke into the cabinet, stuffed England 3-0 and scarpered back to Dublin with the cup.

And so the globalisation of the Real World Cup began.

Now, those false gods at FIFA claim there have only been 8 World champions;
Brazil (5 times), Germany and Italy (4 times), Argentina and Uruguay (twice) and Spain, France and England (once each).

However in reality there have been 42 holders of the Real World Cup.
UFWC Table

These range from:
Scotland (the highest ranked team in the world!!!!!) with 86 UFWC wins;
North Korea (ranked 20th in the Real World) with 10 World Cup defences under there belt.
Note: the Supreme leader, Kim Jong-un, played in every position and scored every goal in their victories; and,
Curaçao who were Champions of the World on 28 March 1963. (Yep I had to look up where it was too)


So the next time the interlull comes along and Sky Sports are blathering on about the the qualifying matches for Russia 2018, remember it’s all bollox and the next World Champions will decided on:
15th November 2016, when Chile take on Uruguay in Santiago
(hopefully without Alexis, so he can recover for Saturday!!!)

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