When I hear the name ‘Ashley Cole’ I shudder. I shudder harder than the time I went out in the snow wearing nothing but fishnet tights and a string vest. Everyone else was shuddering when they saw me too. Can’t think why.
That name, Ashley Cole, tears me up. I hate the little bastard. Hate him as much I hate it when I go to make some toast and the bread is mouldy.
He could have been an Arsenal legend. He could have reveled in the same way like previous Arsenal defenders Tony Adams, Pat Rice and Igor Stepanovs.
It’s a shame things ended how they did. Had Cole remained at Arsenal I’ve no doubt he’d have gone on to push David O’Leary’s appearance record at the club, and I reckon he’d have been made captain too. Not captain Birdseye but Arsenal captain.
Instead the little fucker jogged on and become one of the biggest hate-figures at Arsenal since 1532.
Now I’ll probably be destroyed harder than one of Frank Lampard’s Pukka Pies on Tuesday pie night here but despite the fact I bleeding hate Cole I still admire his football ability.
Yes he is a horrible little shit. He’s more horrible than Tony Pulis’ left bollock but nobody, and I mean nobody, can say he isn’t a great player.
So when I read the likes of Roy Hodgson say Cole is a ‘possible left-back’ for England I think that shows a little disrespect.
As an England man, being from England and all that I suppose I want England to win the World Cup next year. I suppose.
Ashley Cole, despite being a complete and utter thunderbastard, is still the best left-back England have and should be in the team ahead of Leighton Baines, and even an Arsenal man Kieran Gibbs.
There are facts I cannot deny. In my opinion, and this hurts to write, Cole became the best (feel sick) left-back in the world a few years ago and still is up there with the best of them.
He deserves (feel faint) his place in the England team without doubt.
As I’ve said, I dislike him, and I know I am sticking up for him here. This maybe the most controversial thing I’ve ever written but it’s the interlull, nothing is happening, and I kind of feel this needed to be said.
I am now skipping the country.