Arsenal vs. The World as Arsene Wenger puts his magic hat back on

Week Four – Onwards and Upwards

Last week, I
said that I couldn’t quite submit to the fact that “whatever happens, this
transfer window has been a failure” due to the fact we didn’t know what
the “whatever” might be.

Well, the “whatever” turned out to be the signing of undoubtedly one of
the best players on the planet. Mesut. Fucking. Özil.

How many of you have been walking
around muttering that this week?

Mesut. Fucking. Özil.

We haven’t just smashed our
transfer record, we have smashed the record for most umlauts used on Twitter,
ever. Our timelines are now awash with dots, a welcome change from meltdowns,
breakdowns, and pleas of “spend some fucking money” to the poor sod who
monitors the @Arsenal Twitter account.

We haven’t
just smashed our transfer record to smithereens, we have also smashed the
smithereens into smithereens.

You would
think that this would be easy to write a blog this week, but since the dust and
umlauts have settled, I have struggled to the point of taking a week off to be
honest, and while struggling I’ve asked myself why I’m struggling, and the fact
I’ve struggled for an answer to that question has caused me to struggle even
more. Indeed, this last paragraph almost sounds like I’m struggling to pad it
out a bit doesn’t it?

conclusion I’ve come to is that the way it feels to be an Arsenal fan at the
moment is difficult to put into words, and I’m not sure there are words to even
do it justice, but I’ll try anyway.

For a start,
we have pulled off this signing The Arsenal Way, there has to be an immense
sense of pride in that.

The Arsenal
Way is unlike that you will find anywhere else is football, and is epitomised
in no better way than Arsene Wenger. We have all had our doubts about him in
recent times, certainly no more so than this summer, including myself. I have
tried to remain as level-headed as possible in my criticism of Arsene, and
after the defeat to Aston Villa I wrote this:

“… the moment I can’t find it in myself
to give Arsene my backing. I will very gladly be proved wrong and, let’s be
fair, there is still time for that to happen. The thing that troubles me the
most is the déjà vu I felt so painfully yesterday came more from what happened
on the pitch than what has or hasn’t happened off of it. It’s looking
increasingly like the manager cannot get the best out of the players he has at
his disposal…..”

I’m not usually one for knee jerk reactions of this kind and,
trust me, it hurt a lot to say what I did, and I was hoping to be proved wrong.
For a lot of us it did seem that a tipping point had finally been reached, and
anyone who is passionate about supporting The Arsenal can be forgiven for
letting their emotions get the better of them, after what had been a very
strange and testing summer indeed.

As it turned out, Arsene proved me very wrong when it came to
getting the best out of the players, and we bounced back in typical Arsenal
fashion with four wins on the trot before deadline day, culminating in putting
that deluded lot up the road firmly back in their place – in our shadow where
they belong.

And with hindsight being such a wonderful thing, perhaps we
can look back at that Villa game and conclude that we are a shambolic
refereeing performance away from having a 100% record in all competitions this
season. Certainly, Mr Taylor’s performance that day has since been proved as anything
but a one off, and it turns out he is indeed a useless c*nt.

Anyway, enough looking back for now, how about we forget
everything else that happened this summer, live the moment, and look forward,
surely that’s possible for now?

As for the “why’s” and the “what if’s”……

To “What if Giroud gets injured?” I say “What if he doesn’t,
and keeps scoring the way he does?”

To “Why did we wait until the last minute again?” I say “Why
the fuck does that matter? We’ve signed Mesut. Fucking. Özil!”

To “Surely
this wasn’t the plan all along….” I say “So fucking what?! We’ve signed Mesut.
Fucking. Özil!”

In all
honesty, the point about this not being the plan is probably quite a valid one,
but hey, my plan to earn enough money to retire by the time I was 30 went tits
up years ago, and I’ll be fucked if I win the lottery this week at the age of 39
I’ll be looking back in anger at the years wasted doing the day job.

For all of the criticism Arsene has received recently, some of it
deserved, some of it harsh, and some of it too vile for words, Mesut Özil
signed for The Arsenal because he wants to play for Arsene Wenger. Read that
sentence back to yourself, like it or not that is the truth.

Isn’t it about time we put all this AKB v WOB shit to one side and got
on with enjoying the moment?
To me, one of the best things about being an Arsenal supporter is the feeling
of “us against them” that we used to revel in.

It’s always been about rubbing their noses in it.

Ok, finishing above that lot every year may have been the most we have
had to shout about in recent years, or finishing fourth when we have been told
at the start of every season that this is the year we drop out of the top four,
but it’s these small victories that keep you going, and maybe, just maybe this
is where we turn the corner. If it is, then it will be the sweetest victory of

You only have to look at some of the hilarious reactions in the media to
the signing of Özil to see how gutted
most people are that we did it. Some of these journos are almost walking around
with steam coming out of their ears due to this!

He wanted to join Manchester
United did he? No, he didn’t. You know it, we know it, he knows it, everyone
knows it. Fuck off.
Just imagine how these people will feel if we win something…

I’m getting the feeling there
are a few people running scared out there now, with Daniel Levy’s attempts at
screwing up our business the icing on a big red and white cake.
Enjoy it, enjoy the moment. It’s been a long time coming.

Just take a look at our midfield options – Aaron Ramsey, Jack Wilshere, Santi Cazorla, Tomas Rosicky, Mikel
Arteta…Mesut. Fucking. Özil.

If that doesn’t get you more
than a little moist, you are insane.

Something I have been banging
on about all summer is that we must not overlook the considerable talent at
this club already, and I’ve tried to hammer home the point that they will get better. The most
important thing this year was not losing key players, and while I do actually
agree that we needed to sign another striker, let us assess that situation in
There is the very real possibility that although this is only one player, it is
Mesut. Fucking. Özil. This is the kind of player that can transform a team such
as ours into title contenders in my opinion.

Perhaps you may think I’m getting a little carried away here, but I
would rather get carried away in this way than the person who Tweeted “season
over before September” when the length of Lukas Podolski’s layoff was announced
or the one who said he hoped a statue of Arsene Wenger would be erected outside
the Emirates, so that he “could shit on it on the way to work every day.”
I’m going to get carried away with this one, and I make no apologies for it.

Now, it is only fitting that the LALA corner is once again dominated by
the gift that just keeps on giving…

Let’s All Laugh At….. Tottenham.

“This is our year.”


Just a couple of phrases we have been lucky enough to pour scorn upon in
the last few years.

Well, it seems jumping on you-tube and fawning over players you had
never heard of, but pretended you knew who they were all along is the most
pleasure that lot have had this season so far.

Oh, Mr Levy, how is that “partnership” you have with Real Madrid going

Not so well it seems, and it seems our ever generous neighbours are up
in arms about the most hilarious partnership since this one…

The poor souls are so upset about this “partnership” that they have put
together a petition.

Thanks to @Hazza1979 to pointing me in the direction of this originally.

Take a look if you haven’t already, it may well be the most tragically
funny thing you have ever seen…..

Right, that’s me for this
week, thank you for bearing with my ramblings once more.
Until next week then, when we shall hopefully all basking in the glorious
occasion that was the debut of a certain Mesut. Fucking. Özil…

Darren Berry

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