Following Granit “The Rock” Xhaka red vs Swansea and Arsene’s comments:
“It looked harsh to me butut it was a deliberate foul. It looked a dark yellow – and the referee went for a bright red.
I have heard on the grapevine that Wenger is proposing a new card system to FIFA called “Wenger’s Inferno”
The basis of Wenger’s 7 levels of hell are as follows:
Card – Example Offence / Punishment
Light Yellow – Questioning a player or official’s parentage / Slap on the wrist and a compulsory post-match interview with Richard Keys
Yellow -Putting your shirt over your head after scoring/ 5 minutes in the sin bin taking over the fourth official’s duties
Dark Yellow – Intentional handball /Made to play the rest of the game with one hand and one leg behind your back
Light Red – Smiling at the ref in a funny manner / Made to watch a full series of ‘Mrs Browns Boys’ in one sitting
Red – Professional foul outside the box / Deported to a post Trump victory America
Dark Red – Professional foul in the box / Tarred and feathered
Black – Decapitation of a player by means of a two footed tackle / Game is stopped and player is taken to the car park and shot by firing squad live on SkySports
More serious Breaking News from the Far Side soon…..