Breaking News – Dark Yellows & Bright Reds – Wenger’s new 7 levels of hell

Wenger Hell

Wenger Hell

Wenger Hell

Following Granit “The Rock” Xhaka red vs Swansea and Arsene’s comments:

“It looked harsh to me butut it was a deliberate foul. It looked a dark yellow – and the referee went for a bright red.

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I have heard on the grapevine that Wenger is proposing a new card system to FIFA called “Wenger’s Inferno”

 

The basis of Wenger’s 7 levels of hell are as follows:

 

Card – Example Offence / Punishment

 

Light Yellow – Questioning a player or official’s parentage / Slap on the wrist and a compulsory post-match interview with Richard Keys

Painful

Painful

 

Yellow -Putting your shirt over your head after scoring/ 5 minutes in the sin bin taking over the fourth official’s duties

Image result for 4th official

 

Dark Yellow – Intentional handball /Made to play the rest of the game with one hand and one leg behind your back

Image result for stand on one leg

 

Light Red – Smiling at the ref in a funny manner / Made to watch a full series of ‘Mrs Browns Boys’ in one sitting

Image result for mrs browns boys

 

Red – Professional foul outside the box / Deported to a post Trump victory America

Noooooooooooooooooooo!

Noooooooooooooooooooo!

 

Dark Red – Professional foul in the box / Tarred and feathered

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Black – Decapitation of a player by means of a two footed tackle / Game is stopped and player is taken to the car park and shot by firing squad live on SkySports

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More serious Breaking News from the Far Side soon…..

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