May The Fourth Be With You – Woe is me the Unhappy Poetic Gooner

I thought about doing something different for this month’s round up as Arsenal were finally, finally put out of their misery thanks to Leicester doing the unthinkable and winning the Premier League. This season promised much, but delivered little. With one game left, I thought it would be nice to muse over the season that was and that could have been so much more.

“Woe is me,”says Arsene Wenger,

Some fans say he has no hunger,

He went into this season,

With no new outfield player for no reason,

He believes in economic frugality,

And insists “Our players are top, top quality”.

A man who trusts his players so,

Each season they start brightly,

Running around ever so sprightly,

Till Christmas eve comes along.

Arsene Wenger presser

“Woe is me,” says Per Mertesacker,

Tall and lanky, captain and anti-attacker,

He reads the game well,

Ain’t that swell?

His pace is his problem,

He couldn’t be any slower,

Unless he’s strapped to my lawn mower,

Along came Vardy,

Blew past him twice,

Believe you me it wasn’t nice.

Restored the calm

“Woe is me,” says Mesut Ozil,

Our German Assist Wizard,

He plays through ball after through ball,

But his calls to the strikers are seldom heard,

He’s racked up 18 assists,

Significantly more are the chances that our forwards missed.

Aubamayeng, Benzema and Ronaldo are far away,

The stress is turning his hair gray.

Unhappy Bunny

“Woe is me,” says Oli Giroud,

Each time he missed the crowd booed,

He flicks and he kicks,

He even tries some tricks,

But can’t break a duck just yet,

Even with an open net!

Giroud vs Man City

“Woe is me,” say Arsenal,

A title seems so elusive,

Year after year we finish fourth,

Seldom do we wander further North.

A thrifty transfer window,

Injuries dealing ravaging blows,

We never seem to learn or grow.

Is it time to change?

To rid ourselves of illusions of grandeur,

To accept our mediocrity,

The league wasn’t won with riches,

It was won by passionate Leicester,

As we lick our wounds and get back up,

We cannot allow this gloomy attitude to fester.

Hope against hope hoping,

We must rise with reckless abandon,

Glory must we seek,

For we are Arsenal,

The Pride of North London.

Keep the faith fellow Gooners. There’s always next season!

– Chennai Gooner

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