The Low down on Patrick Vieira and Project Emirates – Exclusive

The first rule of Project Emirates is…
Sheikh Mansour Bin Zayed Al Nahyan
Look we can’t get Wenger to be our manager, know matter hope much money I throw at him he just won’t leave Arsenal.
He said it had something to do with respect and ‘honoring a contract’. 
Khaldoon Al Mubarak
Well boss, we’ve got the next best thing in Patrick Vieira, but to be frank with you, I’m not quite sure what he does to earn his keep.
Sheikh Mansour Bin Zayed Al Nahyan
Right, in that case, get him in here now. I want an explanation.
(5 minutes later Paddy enters the room)
Mr Vieira you’ve been with us for 4 years now & with all your assistance, we’ve failed in all our attempts to tempt Mr Wenger to the dark side. What further initiatives do you propose to justify your position?
Paddy
Well, I believe my two main polices are working just fine.
1 – Project ‘Buy up everything’
2 – Project Emirates
Khaldoon Al Mubarak
I must have missed the memos, please explain further Patrick
Paddy
The first rule of both these projects, is that you don’t ask questions about either, but as you’re the boss, I’ll give you the low down.
Project ‘Buy up everything’ is now well under way.
Along with New York City FC, we have recently purchased Melbourne Heart & rebranded them as Melbourne City.

Melbourne-City-FC-Jersey

We should be able to pull a fast fast one on Platini & all that UEFA Fair Play shenanigans. I mean, we can loan out all those extra players we have with no bother & we can call on a few extra players when we want, no questions asked. After all, they are all owned by you guys, UEFA won’t know what’s hit them. Oh yeah & we’ve signed David Villa on loan for Manchester, sorry, Melbourne City (Editor; yes that David Villa)
iMbb6
Should mean we will buy the A League as well. Added bonus !!
Sheikh Mansour Bin Zayed Al Nahyan
Very clever Patrick, I think we might get way with that one. If not, we’ll just pay the fine 😉
What about Project Emirates?
Paddy
Well, ‘Project  Emirates’ has been in operation for a few years now. If you are not up to speed with it, the basic concept is; 
Save money, time & effort on scouts by using Arsenals. 
Every season we look at our squad to see where we need reinforcements, then we look at Arsenal’s squad, decide which player we want to fill that void & offer them double their current salary.

If Arsenal don’t have a player who fits our requirements we just buy the players that are looking and miss out the middle man.



 
Simples really.
The latest recruit via ‘Project  Emirates’ should be with us this week

Khaldoon Al Mubarak
Sorry we every doubted you Patrick, keep up the good work !!

 

, , , , , ,

No comments yet.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: