Dear Mathieu ‘The Flamester’ I’m sorry! – I love you, I hate you, I love you again you little GIT!

Every team needs one!

Every team needs one!

Dear Mathieu Flamini. The Flamster. I’m sorry.

I’m sorry from the bottom of my stinking cold heart.
Years ago, when Flamini left Arsenal, I was upset. I was more upset than Samir Nasri was when he/she looked into a mirror and saw that he/she resembled an ugly 37 year old French lesbian.
Now at the time I was more up and down about Flamini than a yo-yo. Looking back at some blogs I wrote you would think I was bi-polar. One minute I would destroy him and the next would stick up for him.
You see, I’m an emotional guy. I cried when Will Smith had to kill his dog in I Am Legend. I’m welling up as I type now as it happens because I’ve just seen a beautiful butterfly.
I am an emotional kinda guy!

I am an emotional kinda guy!

As I’m so emotional I can tell you that Flamini hurt me when he left. Real hurt. You know the hurt I mean? Pain in the heart. Like heartburn.
He hurt me because I grew to love him like a long-lost brother and it seemed he loved the club. I thought he would sign a deal to play for Arsenal forever or  at least till 2015.
Then it became apparent he was off. And I got angry. Real anger. The type of anger I get when some thunderbastard thinks it’s okay to help themselves to my dry roasted peanuts literally 32 seconds after I offer to buy them some and they say no. But they want mine. Oh it’s okay to have mine.
I was gutted when he left. Bare gutted because that Arsenal team in the 2007/08 was the bollocks. And it was being ripped apart like a pair of Kim Kardashian’s jeans after fitting that booty in them.
Had we kept that team together Arsenal would have pissed the league the next season. I truly believe that.
Hated him but still hoped he'd come back

Hated him but still hoped he’d come back

After Flamini left I often thought, and sometimes hoped, that he might come back. I was still pissed at him but I felt he was what we were missing. A raving lunatic who did the dirty work. A little shit that the opposition hate.
Well now he is back and it seems like he has never been away.
Of course I sometimes feel a little hypocritical when I smile that his name is on the team-sheet because, as I’ve said, I have slaughtered him in the past.
But I suppose we football fans are all a little hypocritical in a way. Take Wayne Rooney. When Arsenal apparently showed an interest in him in the summer my attitude towards him changed a little.
I always thought he was nothing but an over-rated granny banger who I wouldn’t want anywhere within 23 miles of my nan but, if the truth be told, had he signed for Arsenal, I would have introduced them and who knows? I’d have gladly called him grandad.
Flamini never had to win me over again because he gives nothing less than 110% on a football pitch. You know what you are getting from him.
110% Winner

110% Winner

But I have learned a lesson here. Footballers are human too. And they will come and go. I’m not going to ask them to show undivided loyalty in the future because things ain’t like they were back in the day.
As long as they give 110%, like Flamini does, week-in week-out, then I can’t ask for more really. Well I can for Kelly Brooks number but I doubt she’ll give it to me the 421th time of asking.
Heh Wrighty how did you get this number?

Heh Wrighty how did you get this number?

Whilst the likes of Flamini pull on the shirt it raises the game of the others. They all give a little extra. Quite simply you need Flamini’s in your team.
And I’m pleased he’s back. The little git.
Until next time
Wrighty

5 Responses to Dear Mathieu ‘The Flamester’ I’m sorry! – I love you, I hate you, I love you again you little GIT!

  1. Danny October 20, 2013 at 6:29 pm #

    The part you wrote about gladly calling Rooney your granddad if he joined Arsenal had me in absolute stitches mate hahaha

  2. Goonerant October 20, 2013 at 6:36 pm #

    “Samir Nasri…….. resembled an ugly 37 year old French lesbian……”

    Spot on, you’re so right! ROTFLMAO!!!

  3. Chris October 20, 2013 at 6:54 pm #

    Great post – some good chuckles in there mate!

  4. debislyv October 20, 2013 at 9:01 pm #

    I love this post. spot on about rooney, I’d do the Same if he’d sign for us. but thank God He didn’t. the flame is exactly what we need, and I’m glad he’s finally back to his home.

  5. real talk fam October 20, 2013 at 10:34 pm #

    Trying to hard for lols

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