Arsenal feast on Turkish delight and Cottage Pie, BT Sport’s cringe and Paul Merson on the Kardashians

Week Two – Reasons to be cheerful

Due to
this being a two-game week, coming off the back of a home defeat to Aston Villa
in our first game of the new season, I think it’s only fitting that this week’s
piece should come to you somewhat chronologically.

Firstly, I am now officially sick to the back teeth
of transfer talk this week. So I am not going to comment on who we haven’t
signed, or who that lot up the road have signed. Unless we sign anyone between
now and Sunday of course….

The mood at the start of the week was
unsurprisingly gloomy to say the least, with inquests and accusations aplenty.
Perfectly understandable of course, with arguments ranging from measured to
downright over the top ludicrous. Personally, by Tuesday afternoon I’d managed
to drag myself back to remembering there was a football match on Wednesday, the
perfect opportunity to bounce back and lift the mood. Wednesday afternoon
brought back to me the familiar feeling of excitement mixed with anxiety that
only being an Arsenal supporter can provide and, despite the grief felt over
the weekend that feeling is what it’s all about.

For most of us anyway. Unbelievably, there are still people out there who
somehow think that losing a Champions League qualifier would be a good thing
for us, it would lead to Arsene Wenger being sacked, a new manager being
appointed, topped off with a wealth of world class signings, with all this
happening within the space of less than a fortnight. You only have to stop for
a second and consider how ridiculous that sounds to know these people have
precious little intelligence, and it almost pains me to give them any mention
whatsoever. To be fair, people who go to these extremes are in the minority, so
let’s consign them to the brain dead corner where they belong.

Some welcome Turkish delight

On to the game itself, and it was a welcome tonic
after the last few weeks. Yes, the opposition weren’t very good but I felt that
a lot of that was down to us not allowing them to play. Plus, fuck it, you don’t
want to be playing anyone decent in the qualifiers do you? I’m sure none of us
would rather have had a tough game at this stage with our squad being the way
it is. I was really encouraged by the performance, myself, and the amount of
pressure on the players can’t be understated, and that they played the football
they did under that pressure is a credit to them. Again, I don’t give a toss
who the opposition were, football is about winning matches at the end of the
day, and we know only too well how many points can be dropped and games lost
against “lesser” opposition, so credit to the players for that. I
sensed that “together” feeling from the players on Wednesday night,
something I sensed at the end of last season. Nobody epitomises strength of
character more than Aaron Ramsey, who was outstanding again on Wednesday, and
this young man deserves every bit of praise that comes his way.

Another extremely pleasing aspect of an Arsenal win in these circumstances is
listening to Sky Sports commentary team treading water when things don’t go
according to script. Honestly, the agenda is so transparent these days it’s
almost funny. You are there to cover the game, not tell us what we already know
about how light our squad is, what pressure there is on Wenger to spend, blah,
blah, fucking blah….

Then we had Paul Merson desperately back-tracking once he realised he’d said
something a bit positive by informing us that this doesn’t mean the problems
aren’t still there, that this is merely “covering over the cracks” etc, etc.
Well, thanks for letting us know, Merse. He is right of course, but it’s all in
the delivery for me. On that note, is covering over the cracks the same as
papering over the cracks? Is it just a case of us needing to really have our
cracks filled in?  I don’t know….

He then went on to say this is job done, and that “if Arsene Wenger says it’s
only half time, then, seriously?” There you go, have a pop at the
manager for saying something he hasn’t said yet, in an interview he’s yet to
give. This isn’t me denying there’s any truth in anything these people say,
it’s just the underlying sense of agenda that stinks. Plus, he sounded like a fucking
Kardashian when he said it…“You know, like, seriously?
You are, like, so, like, whateverrrrrr…”

Then we have the press, positively licking their lips at the prospect of Wenger
failing to land any transfer targets. The worrying thing for me is that Arsene
is so very stubborn and single-minded, that the more the press bang on about
him spending big, the less likely might be to do it, and they know it too.
These principles which I have admired so much in the past could quite easily
bite us on the arse if we aren’t careful now. That being said, if you are a
journalist and have it in your mind to create a mock-up of Arsene Wenger as
Lady Gaga, then I think you are probably the sort of person who needs their
browsing history investigated….

Anyway, that’s enough of that, it’s Friday
afternoon and we are away to Fulham tomorrow, I’m pretty optimistic we’ll get
three points.

I refuse to mention the fallout regarding what Jack
Wilshere said on Friday, it is a non-story, get over it. End of.
In his pre-match press conference Arsene acknowledged that we were short on
numbers squad-wise, but also re-iterated his belief in the quality we already
have in the squad as it is, cue countless Twitter meltdowns, especially from
people repeating themselves about how they are sick of Wenger repeating
himself, surely he couldn’t be serious…..

Singin’ In the Rain

Not bad that, eh? In
conditions wetter and splashier than a Jose Mourinho press conference, a really
good performance all round. Aaron Ramsey was given man of the match by the
hilariously shite BT Sports crew – more on those clowns shortly – but he wasn’t
the only bright spot. Santi Cazorla was the pick for me, the way that man
controls a football is an absolute delight to watch. Lukas Podolski scored two
cracking goals, Olivier Giroud held the ball up very well, as well as providing
the opening goal making it three in three for the season so far. And, I think
we should give some credit to Wojciech Szczesny who,
after a week where a lot of questions have been asked of him (understandably
so, to a degree), I thought he looked a lot better than this time last week.
The last point was made even sweeter due to the fact that the fine punditry
team at BT Sports were all over him before the game.

Speaking of which, it would be complacent of me to exclude them from this week’s
slight media bashing theme. If the narrative on Sky is transparent then we will
have to find a new more transparent form of transparency to describe the
transparent coverage from Big Transparency Sports.

Michael Owen was an absolute joy, was he not? How on Earth this man has been
given the job he has is beyond anyone with any hint of a brain. And Mark Halsey
commenting on refereeing decisions in-game? That’s like getting Jordan to give
a running commentary on the Eurovision Song Contest, surely. There is plenty
more to be said about this lot, but I’m going to leave it there for now, no
need to waste any more time on these people than is needed, especially after
the fact that what we did on the pitch today pretty much shut them all up, and
it was delightful to watch Steve Mcmanamanamanam back-tracking like an ITK at
the end of August in his post-match analysis.

One thing I must add to all this is that Arsene has taken a lot of stick this
last week, a lot of it justified, a lot of it over the top (for a change), and
I was critical of him myself in last week’s blog. I also said I would be gladly
proved wrong however, and while this week in no way takes away from the fact
that we do need to strengthen this squad, the performances do go some way to
proving that he isn’t wrong in what he says about the quality we do have at our
disposal already. I believe, as I have said before, that this squad is better
than we have had for a few years now, and with a few quality additions, who
knows. So this week, I say let’s give Arsene, and the players the credit they
deserve.

As the mood is pretty good at the
moment, let’s keep it that way. LALA corner anyone?

Lets’s All Laugh At…. #OneClub
#TwoC*nts

I’m sure
you’ve all seen the video, and unfortunately it has now appears to have been
taken off of the internet, unsurprisingly so I’m sure you would agree, as I
would be amazed if you would find a bigger collection of c*nts in one video
anywhere, even with “safe-browsing” switched off.
This video was made by a couple of melts who have clearly spent more than one
afternoon playing “soggy biscuit” together. (If you don’t know what that is – Google
it. Carefully, and no image searches….)
Although this video has now been taken down as part of the “Keeping the Public
Safe from Weird Tottenham C*nts Act 2013”, I do have a couple of unnerving
images from it…..

You’re damn
right you need one club, one club right across the back of your fucking heads.

Yes mate,
and the only reason Harry’s still wide awake is because he’s shit scared of you
appearing at the foot of the bed in that mask, you fucking freak.

Well, all in
all, a highly pleasing week football-wise, and we would all do well to remember
that is what it’s all about at the end of the day. Winning football matches. We
won two football matches this week, and whether it’s covering our cracks before
we have them filled in or not, it is what being a football fan is all about at
the end of the day. Enjoy the week, a second leg of Champions League qualifier
which is all but done and dusted, and a North London derby against the scummy
Tottenham c*nts on Sunday. If this week was a tonic, then beating that lot will
be a bottle of Tequila, washed down with Moet. In a hot tub. With Kelly Brook.
With cracks being filled in…..Ahem…..

Right, I’ve
rattled on far too much as it is and it’s only Saturday, so I’m taking Sunday
off. If we spend our war chest, which has now swelled to around five thousand
billion trillion pounds according to Twitter, I’ll cover that next week. Until
then……

Up The
Arsenal

Darren Berry


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