Olivier Giroud saving Arsenal during Cesc Fabregas transfer madness

Week Seven – 26 Sleeps to Go….

As I begin to write this, it has just
occurred to me that I have neglected to change the title properly for the last
few weeks, and we were stuck on week four for three weeks.
I’m looking on that as a symbolic reflection of the Silly Season, rather than a
shambolic reflection of my incompetence.

Well, it’s
week seven already, and it appears that the Silly Season has entered the
“frustrated and worried” stage. It is something I completely understand, and it
is something the club have in some ways brought upon themselves, both through
our experiences in recent years, and the fact that we’ve announced to the world
and his wife that we have money and we aren’t afraid to spend it.

I said
something along those lines last week actually which is proof to me that the
frustrated and worried stage quickly becomes the “bored with everyone repeating
themselves every day” stage, so as much as I understand it, I’ll reserve my
judgement on our lack of transfer activity for a couple of weeks, until we
enter the “AAAAAAARRRGHHHHHHHHHH! PANIC!” stage.

Thankfully,
there was a welcome distraction from all that this week, for most of us anyway,
as the summer crept slowly from post-season to pre-season proper, with the
start of our pre-season tour of Asia.

They’re
Sending Me to Vietnam…

Sorry, but I
can’t look at the word “Vietnam” without saying it in a Forrest Gump voice.
Speaking of Forrest Gump, how nice it was to hear the dulcet tones of ex-Arsenal
“favourite” Stewart Robson commentating on us this week.
He actually does sound like he’s wandered out of the day centre doesn’t he?

I’m not here
to give you match reports, and these games aren’t much more than a chance to
get a bit of match time under our belts and begin to work on the fitness.
Having said that I think a few players looked pretty sharp for pre-season.
Aaron Ramsey, Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain and Olivier Giroud caught my eye, and
there’s more on the easy on the eye Frenchman a bit later in this blog.

However, while these games may not mean a great deal to us, they mean a hell of
a lot more to the amazing supporters we have in Asia, many of whose dreams came
true just from watching an Arsenal pre-season friendly.
Whatever your feelings regarding this tour, your heart would have to be made of
stone for it not to be warmed by the reactions of these fans.
A poke in the eye for anyone who thinks that where you come from dictates your
importance as an Arsenal supporter.
Towards the end of the Indonesia game, you could hear those fans singing “Oh
Arsenal We Love You”, and I thought that was a lovely sound. With all that’s
going on at the moment (or not going on), it’s nice to have a bit of escapism from
it all.
I can’t talk about this without mentioning the “Running Man”, of course. If you
haven’t seen it, here it is…

One thing
struck me about this, I don’t know about you, but who made the decision on when
to stop the coach and let him on? Did he have a 5km “get-on clause”?
I can just imagine Lukas Podolski sitting there saying “No, don’t let him on
just yet, this is fun! Shame Abou Diaby isn’t here they could have had a race.
Fuck me, he’s much quicker than Andre Santos! Oops, he’s just hit a tree!
Driver, stop and let the poor sod on now mate.”

Get Out of My Pub!

I have heard
the Silly Season/Transfer Window described as a soap opera on more than one
occasion over the last few weeks, so I’ve decided to treat you lucky lot once
again this week, and bring to you my very own Silly Season soap opera.

As is the
case with most of the cack on our television screen these days, this soap
includes only a small handful of characters that anyone could give a shit
about, and the entire plot and script can be summed up in a few paragraphs. Oh,
and there may be a nonsensical twist at the end…

Ladies and
Gentlemen, introducing…

The Cast

This episode
is centred around three main characters…

Orson – Our main character, played by the
entire Arsenal fan base.
Orson is a likeable, yet dangerous character. He is a man on the edge, a
ticking time bomb. He’s been through a lot these past few years, and it isn’t
going to take much for him to explode. He is an emotional and passionate
person, and sometimes lets his emotions get the better of him.

Moe – Moe and Orson have been business
rivals for many years now, and that rivalry is about to be re-ignited with the
re-appearance of our next character…

Francesca
The love interest.
Francesca left Orson a couple of years ago, moving back to her home town. Orson
never really got over Francesca leaving and part of him wants her back more
than anything, but he is still torn due to the way in which she left him.

In fact, it
seems that recently everyone Orson has loved recently has left him, leaving him
heartbroken in the process.

Indeed
Orson’s last love, Robyn, turned out to be an absolute c*nt…

Episode
One – The Love Triangle Episode……

This week’s
episode features our very own love triangle. Orson has heard that Moe has been
sending Francesca love notes, around twenty five million of them to be precise,
in an effort to woo her.

On hearing
this Orson has been sent plunging into an abyss of panic, yearning and anger,
all at once. Surely Francesca wouldn’t be lured in by Moe with the history she
and Orson have, and knowing of the bad blood between the two men?

Should Orson
make an attempt to rekindle his relationship with his former love, or has the
way she left him left him too hurt to be able to forgive and forget, and should
he just turn his back and say “Fuck her”?

Knowing
Orson’s fragile state of mind at the moment, if Francesca were to give in to
temptation, and fall in to a passionate romance with Moe, there is no telling
what Orson might do. The situation is a powder keg waiting to explode.

In true soap
opera fashion, there is a lot of noise, shouting, arguing – Cesc, lies and
videotape – throughout, but nothing really happens…

Then, in the
final scene in this weeks’ episode Orson is sitting alone in his house, desperately
staring at his phone for any word of Francesca. Refresh, refresh, refresh! But
alas, nothing. Then, we hear a knock at the door, and Orson stands up, walks
slowly to the door and opens it, hesitantly.

Is this her?

Has she come
back?

The door opens
slowly to reveal a man, with huge teeth and an evil glint in his eye…..

Doof Doof
doof doof doof du-du doof…

Ok, so the
last bit didn’t exactly make sense, but when was the last time a soap opera or
an Arsenal transfer window made any sense? So I think I can be forgiven for
using a little artistic license here.

So, will
Cesc Fabregas go to Manchester United? I doubt it, and I doubt United think he
will either. My take on it is that it could be a bit of posturing to make erm,
Moe, look good. Yeah, that’ll work out well for you mate…

DB’s
Players to watch 2013/14 – Number Three: Olivier Giroud

Ok, ok, once
you’ve finished sniggering hear me out on this one please.

The reason
I’ve been covering my players to watch these last few weeks is to highlight
that our squad is maybe a bit better than we give it credit for. This is the
reason I’ve gone for players like Aaron Ramsey and, this week, Olivier Giroud.
I’m not going for the obvious players just now, that would be too easy.

Giroud’s
contribution in his first season – 17 goals and 10 assists I believe – wasn’t a
bad return at all, and I see no reason why he won’t build on that next season.

He’s looked
sharp to me in the two games this week, looks a bit trimmer too, which
regardless of the opposition can only be a good thing. I saw a few people
actually moaning that he scored that hat trick against
Vietnam (Forrest Gump voice again), and the “Oh for fucks sake, Wenger’s not
gonna sign a striker now is he?” line coming out.

I’m sorry, but
if you can’t see a striker doing the job he’s there to do and actually scoring
goals as a good thing, then you know nothing about football I’m afraid.
Strikers thrive on confidence, goals breed confidence, confidence breeds goals
– you see a pattern there?
I am in no way saying Giroud is the finished Premier League article, and I am
of the opinion we need a proven world class striker to really kick us on this
season, but I think there is a good chance he can do an important job for us
this coming season. I do wish he would cut out that Gallic posturing though…..

That’s all
for this week, next week I will be having a little re-cap on the story of the
Silly Season so far. Although technically not a lot has happened, the idea of
this weekly diary is to document the changing moods & emotions we go
through at this time of the year, so a re-cap isn’t as boring as it sounds, I
promise!

Also next
week – In Clockenders, the most shocking soap twist since Grant Mitchell
chucked one up Tiffany’s Mum. Maybe…

Darren Berry


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2 Responses to Olivier Giroud saving Arsenal during Cesc Fabregas transfer madness

  1. Draino Slushy July 22, 2013 at 7:17 pm #

    Is the ‘Cesc transfer madness’ the fact he is staying at Barca?

  2. Richard Ngata July 22, 2013 at 8:55 pm #

    Riveting piece Darren Berry.

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