The first thing is the title, “The mood swings of a Gooner,” auto-correct made it say ‘goner.’ That seems pretty apt at the present moment. My emotions have been on a bi-polar rollercoaster over the since Easter, but for the first time I feel like I may never recover. Am I resigned to this fate?
May – After many touch matches Arsenal had gained points on the peers, to be jovial and excited was an understatement. Not only had Arsenal beaten my expectations (5th), but they had risen to third eclipsing their London counterparts.
June – Arsenal announce the sale of Queensland Road, a scrumptious sale of £26M pounds. Guaranteed group stage football meant more money would be available, and TV payouts from the 2011-12 season had yet to be paid out. Rumours of Podolski and Giroud joining Arsenal were flowing. My joy turned to outright elation, I was in Shangri-La.
July 4th a day that will live in infamy… actually that’s December 7, 1941, but for an Arsenal fans we felt affected in the very same manner. Robin van Pur$estring’s statement on the club not having the ambition he wants, just after signing two players. My heart sank like a stone in open water. I tried to lift myself up a few days later but rationalizing his choice to not extend his ‘current’ deal, so maybe improved terms would solve the problem. I’m reaching, but it was all I had
Late July – the club is away for pre-season, so if nothing happens over that time you can understand it. So my faith in the team began to rise, confidence went up, and goals were scored. I kept getting more excited.
Now it’s early August and we’ve signed a fellow named Cazorla. So I watch some youtube videos, check some stats and I start drooling for an exhibition game I can watch after having breakfast (I live in Canada). And the match comes and he does not disappoint. Oh man, this is awesome. I’m through the damned roof.
But wait, van Persie didn’t start, but then he grabbed the armband when he came on. Oh crap, I’m confused, so confused… Ok so my left brain is thrilled, I got my cake and I can eat it too. My right brain is freaking out, conspiracy theories, worry, stress, anger, the dark side. Fear leads to hate, hate leads to anger, anger leads to the dark side.
We are on the eve of the season, my mind is separated, and now it comes together. Van Persie is gone. Both sides of the brain come together and I’m instantly depressed. I try to look at the brightside, but I can’t.
Now we’ve gone through two weeks of matches, rumours, more rumours, even more rumours, two nearly done deals and on top of my stomach aching, my skin crawling and my blood boiling, my brain is about to explode. And as I write this we are less than two hours from the window closing. My heart rate is very high, there are no more permutations, no more scenarios or situations; my brain has shut off, I have no sensory apparatus. I’m completely numb. In one respect I’m the perfect vessel to go out on the pitch and execute as instructed in training. On the other hand I cannot adapt, I am waiting for what is coming for me, and I’ll have to start from scratch and start to adapt. Get ready Arsenal fans, it’s time to cheer for the team we have, not necessarily the one we thought we’d have or the one we thought we wanted, but they’re ours for better or for worse.
Respectfully and Reluctantly,