Gooner Girlfriend: Wenger’s secret Christmas list

WTTGT Writer: Antonia “The Gooner Girlfriend” Hawken

Everywhere I go I see red. I don’t mean that I’m angry, rather, that it has quickly become, once again, “the most wonderful time of the year”. We are constantly bombarded with Coca Cola adverts which have dotted themselves across all television channels, seasonal jingles are played on repeat on the radio, and women shove each other out of the way in the final military push as C-Day quickly approaches.

I recently attended a company Christmas dinner with the “Gooner” household, and in festive tradition every member wore an item of red somewhere on their outfit. Putting the holiday spirit aside, there was an air of smugness around the table as that day Arsenal had played and thankfully won at home against Everton.  Opposite from our table sat an avid Chelsea supporter, at times regarded as a friend of Gooner Sr.  In agony he slipped under the table as the entertainment for the evening, a comic Elvis Presley, serenaded us with ‘The Wonder of You’. We swayed to the music, hands in the air with five fingers up on one, three on the other.

Having discovered precisely a year ago that this particular tune is the Arsenal anthem of choice, I took it upon myself to memorise as many of the lines as possible. I must admit I didn’t quite understand why that particular song was chosen, though I’ve come to respect that there is a certain wonder about the side, and hopefully they will be around as long as the songs of Elvis. Twelve months on, the Chelsea fan refrained from commenting that my dress “would look better in blue”, having worn a deep crimson outfit in 2010. To add insult to injury we were commanded to twirl our red napkins or red ribbon chair attire around our heads as the King belted ‘Viva Las Vegas’; the Chelsea gent refused, but was eventually forced to wear a customised red ribbon tie, provided by my Gooner. After all, ‘tis the season of goodwill to ALL men.

There are still three more matches to be played this year, with just one left before Christmas day. In my books this begs the question: Which list has Arsenal made it on to, naughty, or nice?

Let’s start with a few statistics I managed to gather from the BBC Sport page:

In the Barclay’s Premier League, the Gunners currently sit in fifth position with 29 points. They have played 16 matches: Won: 9, Drawn: 2, Lost: 5. So, they are to an unlearned Gooner girlfriend, not doing too badly = Nice.

They lost this weekend 1-0 = Naughty.

This, apparently isn’t overly dreadful as the performance they brought to the Man City ground brought hope = Nice.

They beat Chelsea = Very Nice;

But lost terribly to Man U = Very Naughty (I’d 8 – 2 be an Arsenal fan…)

It is a pretty tricky one to call, though the club received an early pressie this year in the form of a statue in honour of Thierry Henry, which must have been nice, for them and for him. A couple more wins before we reach January would certainly bring a few smiles to some anxious faces.

I managed to watch a little of this past weekend’s game, and even cried out a couple of  constructive comments such as “run”, “faster” and “pass”, instilling in me the possibility that my career as a wannabe journo could be called short to fulfil my potential as Arsenal coach/manager. If my Christmas wish does come true, I will make sure to wrap up warm when observing matches from the sideline. It appears Wenger never quite wears enough layers and looks a tad cold in his plush seat. I pondered whether he had requested a thicker coat, perhaps gloves, or even an Arsenal beanie on his Christmas list this year. I suppose his main present should be another ten players to go with the one he’s already got. It’s always nice to have a full set, but one wouldn’t want to spoil him.

It would be wonderful if Arsenal continued to walk in their Winter Wonderland, as well as this year, saving us from tears by giving us something special to conclude 2011. That is, of course, the wonder of red at Christmas.

More from the Gooner Girlfriend

Gooner Girlfriend: The pressures of perfection

Gooner Girlfriend: What’s tatt all about?

Gooner Girlfriend: When sex and Arsenal mix

Gooner Girlfriend: The ex conversation

Gooner Girlfriend: I’m not much of an Arsenal fan

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One Response to Gooner Girlfriend: Wenger’s secret Christmas list

  1. Gunner January 3, 2012 at 1:23 pm #

    Loved it. Good to see something different.

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