Is it safe to open my eyes yet?

WTTGT Writer: Dean “is it safe to open my eyes yet” Scott

Shocking; dreadful; rubbish; insulting… no not the X-Factor auditions, it’s another Arsenal performance. Seven goals (we scored five), take the lead twice, yet still beaten by a dreadful team…

Angry; yes; disappointed; yes; surprised; yes…

Did I sing we are 15th best team in the league? Well there’s a song that makes you feel proud. We died against Man United and were buried against the mighty Blackburn Rovers (sic). We have now become London’s Aston Villa! You know the score, we never win anything but never in danger of going down… if Arsenal were food we would be cucumber, no taste, adds a bit of colour to a plate but really doesn’t make you feel any better about food. We have gone from ‘invincible’ to invisible.

I am not going to comment on the actual game, there is no need. “Blackburn 4”, says more than I ever could.

I am going to Kings Cross in a minute to purchase a Eurostar ticket and the conversation will go like this:

Me – Hello, I would like to buy a ticket to Paris.

Assistant – Single or return sir?

Me – Single, please don’t sell me a return I beg you…

Assistant – And your name sir

Me – Mr A Wenger, honest…

Assistant – hahahaha, you used to be good

Me – sniff, sniff [wiping away a tear], I was, but then I sold everyone that made me good and replaced them with dross

I am hoping the role of me will be played by Arsène himself, because my club doesn’t need you anymore.

We’ve got Shrewsbury Town next week. I am fearing the worst!

 

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