The name game: In the Job Centre

WTTGT Writer: Jake Harvey

Exactly what they didn’t do after their Arsenal careers….

David SEA-MAN

After being caught out of his depth in the 2002 World Cup, the Arsenal legend decided to turn his hands to the ships under the name Captain Ponytail.

Pat RICE-PICKER

After pre-season in Asia, Wenger’s right hand man took a month off to become a resident rice picker. Rice was soon sacked though when he recommended a 14 year old co-worker to Wenger.

Kolo TOURE-GUIDE

Since being banned from the game, Kolo’s day-to-day job has turned to being the best tour-guide in Manchester. Holiday makers are often giving him tips… but mainly on defensive ability.

Bill TAX-DODGIN

Bill Dodgin took retirement hard and has refused to pay tax since quitting the game. Tax-Dodging Bill has since sold hooky goods from the back of his van.

Ashley COLE-MINER

After all of Cashley’s misdemeanours he has finally dug himself the biggest hole and decided to work down it. Cole was shafted down the mine by Cheryl though in an attempt to stop him shafting anyone else.

Paul MASON

After quitting the game Merson took to masonry. He took his first job looking to build in the Midlands but look foolish turning up at WALLsall (I apologise for awful pun) with his mallet and chisels.

Ray BEAUTY-PARLOUR

After retiring, the reliable Ray went into the beauty industry and set up a salon. The ex-Gunner attracts very few Chelsea fans after naming the shop “It’s only Ray’s Parlour.”

Alex SONG-WRITER             

Arsenal’s defensive midfielder is apparently a keen lyricist. The player is very disappointed to hear from the Emirates crowd on match days, that they only have one Song.

Alan BLACKSMITH

Despite hearing him commentate regularly on Sky Sports, the ex-Arsenal striker works days as a blacksmith in north London. He apparently received an order of 60,355 horseshoes in time for Arsenal’s match against Bolton in September.

Dennis FATCAMP 

Many may think that the Dutch legend has gone into coaching at Ajax. However like Beckham has his soccer camp, the Dutch maestro has his own Fatkamps shaping the through football.

Nwankwo KANU-IST

Since moving to the south-coast with Portsmouth, the lanky striker has taken to canoeing. His talent of being able to get into a canoe has earned him national recognition and he will be part of the Nigerian Canoeing Team at London 2012.

Any additions? What have I missed out?

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